who in the world are you?

Mother’s Day 2016

   I have been riding a roller coaster for a few years that I promise you has just about derailed MULTIPLE times. I will never forget going into the bathroom after I had Sterling, and catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Maybe it was the fact that I had just given birth and my hormones were out of control, or maybe it was because of what I saw. Either way I am not kidding you, I instantly felt sick. I vividly remember mumbling “who in the world are you?”

Don’t get me wrong. This body carried TWO babies to term, delivered TWO babies, and has been far better to me than I have to it. I will forever cherish the scars and memories of what my body has gone through to bring life into this world. But let’s be really honest. At 21 years old, I couldn’t believe what I saw. I spent a good 20 minutes standing in front of the mirror wondering “who in the world are you?” It is no doubt that motherhood changes e v e r y t h i n g. It took a major emotional toll on me. Accompanied with a few other circumstances (we will get into a little later) and I was a full blown hermit crab. I didn’t want to leave the house, I didn’t want anyone to come over. Motherhood is a HUGE adjustment in itself, without adding self esteem issues to it.  

********Fast forward 5 months *******
Once again, I found myself sitting in the floor waiting to see what the result was going to be. pregnant (again ). All of the people that tell you that it all comes “right back off,” are either liars or just plain lucky. Breastfeeding yeah that didn’t help either. I wouldn’t just have a steak, I would try to eat the whole cow. (I wish I was kidding)  Throughout my whole second pregnancy I kept my eyes focused ahead. I would wake up telling myself “the minute she’s here, I am going to do something.” Her delivery came and went and nothing changed. Eating right, working out 6 times a week. 


I felt HORRBILE. Looked about the same. So at 6 months pp I HAD ENOUGH. Enough of the up and down, enough of the constant mental battle, enough of feeling embarrassed, enough of feeling ashamed and enough of making excuses.  I called and made an appointment with California Medical Weight Management. I went in and they ran blood work, explained the plan to me, took my before pictures, and I walked out of there. I walked out with more confidence that I have had in over 2 years. I poured everything I had into this program. 9 weeks later, 9 weeks. I have lost over 30 pounds and I finally recognize the person I see staring back at me. 


These shorts were purchased the day after I started the program.

 “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” ~Brene Brown

* I receive no compensation for posting this. This is NOT a paid ad. These are my real results. Take from it what you will. 

To see if there is one in your area visit http://www.calmwm.com it will be the best thing you’ve ever done. 

2 thoughts on “who in the world are you?

  1. osem48 says:

    Congrats! That’s a huge accomplishment! It’s not easy losing the baby weight! I had the same struggles and felt the same way after baby no 3. For other moms, they seemed to easily get back to their pre pregnancy weight just a few months after giving birth. Good for you for getting help and achieving your goal! It must feel so good!



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