Home is where ever I’m with you.. 

I’ve rehearsed this phrase a lot here lately. We’ve known for quite sometime that a move could possibly be in our future. I have pushed it away as long as I possibly could. On Monday, God changed “my” plans. (Haha) It sounds so ridiculous when I actually write it out. One would think by now, I would stop making my own plans, and commit to just following his. (I am working on it, I promise.)

Everything is right here at our finger tips. A quick phone call and we have all the help we could ever need. Sunday afternoon lunch with my parents, Sunday evening dinners at my mother-in-loves, and spontaneous get togethers with our relatives. I guess what I am trying to get out is… We are family people.

Like, I can’t even try to down play it. We love them. If we have any free time what so ever, you will find us at one of the places I listed above. Our girls love it, and so do we. We find our grounding with our loved ones. A safe place to have hard conversations, or a quick getaway when we are feeling over whelmed. It’s fun and it’s convenient.

Lubbock, Texas is our home. The place where we both grew up, and the place where I just knew we would raise our children. However, the day I married my husband, I made a covenant before God and our friends and family. To honor him, and stand beside him through anything and everything life throws at us, and that’s exactly what I am going to do.

After 23 years, we are packing up our things and moving to create a new life together. God is opening more doors for us than we could have ever imagined, and  when he calls you to do something, you do it. You do it with wide open arms and an open heart.

The hardest part for me is that life keeps on living, even after we leave. This year we are welcoming a new member to our family, my brother and his sweet wife are expecting their first baby. It is such a fun and exciting time, and all I can think about is the things we are going to miss.

No. We aren’t that far away, but we are far enough that we can just spontaneously meet for lunch, drive down the street and snuggle their new babe, spontaneously go and see our grandparents, or spontaneously plan a date night (at the very last-minute.) I am already trying to prepare myself for those hard conversations with Sterling. This girl is crazy about her grandparents. We will be playing at home and she will just shout out that she wants her Shug or her Dee Dee and well, we just go see them. No more mornings of Pawpaw stopping by to surprise his girls with donuts.

If you have learned anything from reading my blogs, you know how much I dislike change. However, I do know this.

God’s preparing my heart, and he has been for quite sometime. He hasn’t failed me before and he definitely won’t start now. We are beyond thankful for the blessings he is presenting us with, and will praise him through this new transition.

So as we begin this journey, I refuse to let our home be defined by a location, home is where ever we are together.

–theaveragemama

 

 

 

 

 

Safe. 

Right now. In this very moment, we are standing in line at target and I literally want to just lay down in the floor.

 I. 

am. 

tired. 

Tired of the constant struggle. Tired of the whining. Tired of listening to Peppa freaking pig on repeat. Tired of the tantrums. Tired of this day. You know, when your almost two year old asks for something? and you {literally} squeeze your butt cheeks together because you already know when you say no that this whole building is fixing to go up in flames.

yeah.

Today, it was over PEPPA PIG TENNIS SHOES. Whose terrible idea was this? Great marketing technique, but HORRIBLE idea. While listening to the epic meltdown taking place in the cart (and yes, people are now staring). I couldn’t help but curse the fool that said “Hey, let’s make a Peppa pig tennis shoe. You know that all the little girls that come by these will cry and scream and beg for them. And their mom’s ha! I bet their mom’s haven’t showered in a few days, decided to get brave and get out of the house for a bit. By the time they get to this point, she won’t be able to take it anymore. She will buy the shoes, just to make it all stop.” That’s pretty much exactly how it all went. Except.. I refused to buy the shoes. I refused to give in. By not buying the shoes, hopefully she is learning something. It is completely unacceptable to behave this way and then expect to get what you want. Being a mom is hard. So hard. And sometimes it’s (dare I say it) ugly. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do it anymore. That I am failing so miserably. 

Just when I feel myself ducking down about to get down on my knees, I catch a glimpse of Lyncoln’s face. She has a slight grin and as we make eye contact, she crinkles that tiny little button nose. I found the courage to lock my knees, roll the basket forward and keep checking things off of my list. 

So. many. times. I feel like I am failing my family, failing my husband, failing my kids, failing myself, and failing my God. And just when I don’t think I can’t take one more step, God steps in and saves me. Every. Single. Time. He shows me the beauty in my circumstances, shows me grace, and shows me his unfailing love. Life is a baseball game that we are all playing. Each day is a new game, and each circumstance is a new inning. Today as I am rounding third base I am fighting to reach home plate.  And as I am sliding into home I hear him whisper “safe.” He picks me up and dusts me off, and gives me the strength to go again. He is always there encouraging me, and coaching me through life. It is me that has to choose to listen to him or listen to the stands.

This morning as we are standing in church and tears are steadily streaming down my face singing, “Weak made strong, in the savior’s love.” I instantly get chills running up and down my spine and I realize that I am not alone. He is always with me, lifting me up when I am too weak to stand. Pushing me to be my best and carrying me when I cannot walk. My prayer for all of you reading this, is that you feel his unfailing love. I pray that you too get to experience this. I deserve, Nothing. And yet he blessed me with this life. This absolutely humbling, beautiful, crazy, and sometimes ugly life. 

Cornerstone-Hillsong United 

—the average mama